Well folks, Monday morning rolls around again. It’s been a hectic weekend.

On Friday I went to get my hair cut (Some of you may recall the dilemma I faced) Leanne (my new hairdresser) was lovely bubbly blonde and I like the haircut but I have a few criticisms.
1. The chairs in the waiting area are uncomfortable. Bit like canteen seats. I only moan about this as my ass is too big to sit comfortably (and elegantly) on them!
2. The lassie washing my hair kept spraying the water in my ears. It also dribbled down my back and onto my face a lot. This was unpleasant. There was also no support for my back when I sat back to have my hair washed. This was uncomfortable but not the end of the world.
3. Leanne had this wee party trick of flicking the hair over her wrist and into my face as she was cutting it. Yes I ought to have mentioned it. I didn’t. I’m a coward. But that was also incredibly irritating.
4. I asked to have my hair dried curly and explicitly mentioned that I didn’t like crispy sensation you get when you use too much mousse. Not only did I have to suffer the indignity of having to sit with my head between my knees as she dried my hair but it was indeed crispy and sticky. Too much mousse and dry wax. I walked out with a hair cut essentially I liked but looking a bit like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman which I don’t think I did like! Must however invest in a diffuser. They’re barry!!

My ratings are as follows:
1. Comfort of salon - 3/5
2. Affableness of hairdresser 3/5
3. Quality of hair wash experience 2/5
4. Quality of hair cut experience 2/5
5. Quality of hair cut 4/5
6. Finish 3/5
7. Value for money 3/5
Over all 20/35

CRUX question – would I recommend them? I think I would recommend Leanne. I do really like the way she’s cut my hair. I wouldn’t trust any of the minions to do the job and not botch it! So there you have it,

She also had the most amazingly funky socks on. Knee high black socks with small generic electric blue animals printed on. She had clogs on. It was ever so cool. I covet.

So that was the hairdresser.

Then on Saturday we had technical rehearsal for our play. It was pretty chaotic. Despite weeks and weeks of rehearsing there are still cast members who fail to grasp the simplest of instructions. Such as “move out of the way”. Now, when this command is bellowed at the top of your voice because aforementioned cast member is about to be belted in the face by swinging piece of scaffold, it becomes slightly irritating. SOBER UP AND PAY ATTENTION!

In fact I’ve noticed of late that this particular phrase keeps popping into my vocabulary more and more often. “I find that irritating” or It irritates me” are regularly featuring as part of my vast arsenal of communicative battlements. Does this mean I am turning into a cantankerous moany old bat? You see the strangest things irritate me these days.

(another list)

1. Anachronisms – that is, things out of context, for example, well actually what I mean is inconstancy really – people who say one thing and completely contradict themselves by doing another. My ol’ ma once told me that when choosing how to judge someone, actions are generally a better indication of intentions than words, since words are cheap and actions require effort and display true diction. This category includes people who are terrible drivers but insist on gesticulating wildly (and often rudely) at other drivers who display the same behaviours they do. This irritates me. Have an opinion and bloody well stick to it, don’t coast the bandwagon as and when it suits you!

2. I also get irritated by my mobile phone. People insist on calling me or texting me on it. I know some of you will be sitting reading this, utterly incredulous at the idea someone would have a mobile phone but not actually want to be contacted on it. Yes, readers. This is me. I am much like my parents who seem to think the mobile phone is for their emergencies only and keep it switched off at every other time thus making it impossible to get hold of the slippery codgers while they’re out and about! I hate it when it rings, or beeps or vibrates. It means someone wants my attention usually for some utterly puerile reason. Worse still if you don’t reply in 10 seconds flat you get another message saying “y r u not tlkin” I also get incredibly irritated by text talk. But that’s another rant. In fact when I think about it I get irritated by most signs of technological progress. It’s the beeps and buzzes and ticks and whirrs and whines and purrs and alarms and honks and hoots. Everywhere you go it’s mobiles going off, checkouts beeping, pelican crossings trilling out a beep beep beep for you to cross the road, car indicators ticking, microwaves humming, swipe machines sing out their blips, computers have an orchestra of different beeps ticks and sound effects to alert you to someone or something else wanting your attention. It drives me in sane.

3. Along similar lines, people who don’t know how to sit in silence irritate me. If I have a book in my hand (or a magazine) or (it does happen) I might be staring rather intently at the television screen, it is not an open invitation for you to initiate a totally banal conversation with me. If I respond with grunts and absent minded confusion, this is akin to a lioness growling as a foolhardy male lion approaches her new born cub while licking its chops! Unless you pick up the signals sharpish you’re liable to get the worst words in my mouth. Silence is OK. In fact I like silence.

I think this entry is probably raving a little too long so I ought to finish on a happy note. I returned a pair of hideous trousers yesterday to BHS and instead bought 9 pairs of pants for about 90p each.

I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling!