Some things chaps should know about chapettes. This came about after a conversation with a girl friend about boys.

1. Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a gender-wide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my two-stone-heavier alter ego. Her name is Agnes. On a really bad day, Agnes sees her four stone-heavier, bad hair sporting, shockingly dressed, scabby skinned alter ego. Her name is Johhny Vegas. On the same lines, when we start dating boys and we're "holding out," the amount of time we wait has nothing to do with virtue; we're hoping to lose a stone before you see us naked for the first time.
2. Women like porn, too. We just hate it when you hide the porn.
3. We find boyishness attractive occasionally. When it involves tousle-haired enthusiasm, not when it involves losing your wallet more than once a month or forgetting important things like what time you agree to pick us up, or being more interested in the chick walking across the road in a mini skirt then in what an awful day we?ve had.
4. The best parts of your body are bits that don?t even know they?re attractive. So don?t get too knocked out about your six pack (or lack of it) because it?s really things like shoulders, bottoms or earlobes that make us hear the Barry White Lurve Music.
5. Almost all of us shave or wax out toes. Minging?? Seriously though, if the world were to screech to a technological standstill tomorrow and we all had to live like our primitive foremothers, you would be stunned at how hairy women are in their natural state. Every woman I know, when queried, is vehement, that in the absence of modern hair removal technology, she?d have a mono-brow, a full beard and pube covered kneecaps!!
6. We feign ignorance of anything technological until motivated. A girl will maintain that she doesn?t really understand all that computer stuff, but tell her there?s some dirt cheap vintage Chanel on Ebay, and watch her download an updated browser, optimise her dial-up and install more RAM faster than you can say ? Manly Technophile?!
7. We don't need to hear "I love you." We prefer to feel "I love you," see "I love you," experience "I love you."
8. We love a well-groomed man. Hair sticking out of the ears and nose is a turnoff. Also, long nails belong on pimps. On a related note just because you?re having a duvet day around the house, we don?t want to be greeted with your oversized belly and crusty toes when we come in from work. We fancied you in the first place because you were smart and sassy ? don?t let us down now.
9. We need a plan. We don't feel comfortable winging it. We need the specifics of what's going on and who's going to be there. That way we know what to wear.
10. We like to be kissed, and the kiss doesn't always need to be a prelude to sex. We love the surprise kisses. Gift kisses. An out-of-the-blue kiss while we're watering plants or peeling potatoes. Again be careful, just because we kiss you back, doesn?t mean we?re ready to hit the sack and make like Hefner and his bunnies.

Things I like today are cartoons, Dilbert, Garfield, Nemi that kind of thing.
Cold cranberry juice from the fridge.
Oversized sunglasses and lollypops.
I saw a girl on the bus wearing rainbow nail polish. I was mesmerised. I'm gonna try it when I get a chance.
I also like lists but more of that tomorrow.
Be good boys and girls